Was down in the evening, been running a temperature, decided to take Min's bike out for a spin. Spent the last three weekends starting her up, smoking up the neighbourhood in a cloak of white and banging at the front mudguard to ensure it dont touch the wheel and my favourite therapy: hours and hours of labour wiping the bikes three, four or five times a day, both sides, all parts. I ain't know fool. Peole laugh, but when you do all your own maintenance, my cleaning sessions allow me to handle and examine each and every part on the bike regularly and much before any breakdown or failure or wear can spell disaster!I've decided to take care of the rusty tank problem the hard way. Ride it, clean oil off the spark plug every 20 km or so. Three disposable fuel filters and one glass bottle magnet filter in between my fuel tank and engine! Do I need a Y-shaped cross to bear or what!neway, took her out, no lights, one errant front indicator that refused to shut due to a loose switch, sooooft suspension, muted exhaust note (not like Bird Flu) and gobs of smooth surge that pulls your elbows when she goes. that is, when she goes.She stopped after the fuel bunk. I kicked around for some time, cleaned the plug, the carburettor flooded, cleaned plug again, kicked around again. She still wouldn't start,so i put her in third and ran. Push-started her and hopped on to the seat of the running bike, hanging on to the clutch lever. Blipped throttle on the short ride back home and found that she splutters in the higher engine revs. This bike has stalled on all three ocassions it has been ridden. today was the third ride. the first was to a yezdi group meeting when she did 112kph on the bridge and died out due to rust collecting in the carb due to the rusty tank. The other time was also with min when we took the bike out to my bank. She wouldnt start and there was I gasping for some more energy to try starting it some more, but with no idea or pretentions of poise. Never had the courage to wonder of inquire what the girl thought of it all. For me, such moments, faced with a bike that won't start are moments when i face my basic uselessness on the planet. when i was a kid, i used to look for reason to feel the same state of exhaustion come upon me. welcome it for the feeling of being alive. Today, I have objectives in life and I no longer welcome the feeling of reaching the end of the line. I like it only if I am in a state of adventure or if I have an objective. Bikes are different, they are supposed to run. If they don't, you feel utterly helpless before the hunk of metal that was earlier able to locomote under its own power. I feel like i've reached the blank end of the meaning of life.Only fellow riders know what i refer to. Yet none of us are experts, we all hold our tongues and continue our attempts while hanging on to our thought process of elimination of faults with the bike as much as we can. At the most, we can only kid each other bout such moments.So smoke but no cigar.